Photo by Scott Welch

I went running this morning.

That normally wouldn’t be news to anyone, but for me it was big.  I’ve been fighting a foot injury for the better part of 10 years — yes, 10 years — and it has largely kept me off the trails.

As many of you know, I have access to some of the best healthcare practitioners on the planet, and I’ve had all of them, and more, help me with my foot.  For a long time no one could figure it out.  Then, I had a breakthrough and I’m now able to get back out there — but that’s a topic for another post.

What my run bluntly shoved in my face this morning was the pervasiveness of ego.  Yes, ego.

I’ve been active in competitive endeavors in my lifetime.  Collegiate cross-country running, 10 years of national travel for rowing regattas, and plenty of triathlons, open-water swimming, and local fun-runs.  I’ve spent lots of time tracking heart rate data, power output, miles run, and my level of exertion.  I have the log books to prove it.

It’s hard for me to turn off that part of my mind that wants to track the information and account for all the variables.  So, it was pretty plain to me that when I started running this morning, which is at the very early stages of coming back from 10 years off, I had to start slow.

Very slow.

Today, I allowed myself 12 minutes of running total.  12 minutes!

Coming from a guy who used to do 20 mile training runs, this isn’t just holding onto the reigns.  This is taking the reigns, staking them into the ground and pouring concrete over it.

I also kept my pace on the low end.  Wearing my heart rate monitor, I barely let myself creep above what many would consider a brisk jog.  Members of both sexes passed  me, many of whom were alternating between walking and running.  Ouch.

Knowing what I used to be able to do, I wanted to do more.  The competitor in me that hated being passed by every single person begged me to pick up the pace a bit.  The part of me that wants to always come across as strong, fit, and attractive nagged at me to at least keep up with the last guy that passed me.

This is just ego talking.

Ego doesn’t care that I’m nursing myself back to health after a 10 year injury.  It doesn’t care that my muscles are not fit to run more than about 12 minutes.  It doesn’t care that exerting myself at a higher level would tax me more than is necessary for me to make excellent gains.

Ego is all about vanity.  It’s about making me look good.  It has nothing to do with me feeling good, or even being healthy.

Ego is what gets you to cheat on that last set at the gym.  Wait, it’s what get you to cheat on every set at the gym.

Ego is what makes you think you can lift that big box without hurting yourself.  You used to be able to do that, right?  And lots of people are watching, so you better get to it.  Wrong.

Ego is what makes you think you “should” keep up with that fitter training partner of yours.  Never mind that they’ve been training consistently for 5 years, and you just got into your routine within the last 6 months.

Ego is what makes you skip up to that higher mileage run so you can stay on track for the marathon you want to complete.  It would be embarrassing to drop out, right?  Never mind that you were sick for 3 weeks after a big work project that taxed you for months.

It should be obvious at this point that there’s no place for ego for any kind of physical exertion.  The only outcomes are bad ones!

How does ego get you in trouble?  Let me know in the comments!